kitkat_dream (kitkat_dream) wrote,

Ich mache eine kleine Pause...

I'm going to quite the deutsch for a little bit due to:
1. My german isn't sophisticated enough to convey the following
2. i should be working on some english entension...which, by the way, is due tomorrow.

Oh...before I start, i did absolutely sh*z* on that short story for eng ext... Furchtbar, i tell you, Furchtbar!!!

Rant no 1: Prefects
I don't want to some like some self righteous bit**. But the whole damn process doesn't -- as one would expect -- yield people who are truly sited to their supposed future roles. And through the proces, I've seen sides of some people which I did not expect to ever see. It is really quite... confonting. (AH!!! Looking for a better word) Truly disappointed on how some people have managed to get themselves nominated.

Rant no. 2: Maths (When is it not about maths?)
This whole acceleration thing is so getting out of hand. Marks havn't been amazing. Today, we did an assessment again. I freaked out about feeling good about it even though...well, i do feel pretty good about it. everytime i do feel like I did alright... the stuff come back absolutely down the toilet... Except i know that if this one turns out badly...i would have no chance of ending up in the top band. And that's ... there are no words to describe my disppointment if that happens.

Rant no. 3: Choices
Only 5 whole years on am I able to truly contemplate the ramifications of my choices. Although I've been wondering, and thinking, and pondering over all of the possibilities, it's only hit me in the last few months that, well, actually, I will never know. I will never know what would have happened if I

- stayed in Germany for longer
- stayed in China for longer
- went to NSG instead of Kambala...or even Pymble (and boarded), or even MLC
- didn't accelerate Maths
- didn't close myself up entirely in yr 7 due to a childish and naive ideology
- did the IB instead of the HSC

I chose my path at the fork in the road. Quite simply, there's no way back. Life is made up of our choices. Choices define who we are. Whether we make good or bad ones will add up.

Oh, what revelations...

Rant no. 4: NAS

Ok..and that's it.
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