Embedded video from CNN Video

After doing so much on 'journeys' at school, it's almost inevitable that we start applying the stuff we learnt in English into our lives.

Yesterday, I went to the wharves, again. Somehow, I was drawn to them, again. Not because of what happened there, rather for the atmosphere: the fact that nobody goes there much, the way the sea is just in front of you, the way the north shore lies just across the water, the way the bridge spans beautifully across.

But of course, I would be lying if I said that what happened there was of no meaning whatsoever. Remember that insight into journeys: it's when you come back to the place you left that you realise how much has changed.

Well, that's exactly what I did, and I suppose I'm grieving for the loss of that, and for the loss of a part of my innocence. Of course I don't want to go back to it. The loss of it has already formed itself into my 'self': into the way I define my experiences and memories. But at the same time, one can not help but think about those memories.

Oh, haha. Also happened to lose a thong there. My brown ones. Perhaps it's a metaphor. The way the sea carried it away on its waves was really quite symbolic. I ended up throwing the other one away with it. Just realised how cathartic that was: if I'd kept it... I'd be worrying over myself way too much about what it means that I couldn't let the other thong go! :-)

So that's my spiel for today. Haven't written here for a long time as well. Perhaps this is another example of coming back to the place one started at and looking at it again in a different light.

It's refreshing.

Ach... ich habe etwas vergessen: the five stages of grieving.

Denial: definitely went through that very quickly.
Anger: perhaps at this one now.
Bargaining: won't go through this one... innocence is not something you bargain for.
Depression: perhaps a little of this one now.
Acceptance: almost there... :-)

Alles ist unbedingt total verrückt geworden. Ich weiß nicht wirklich wo ich anfangen sollte.

1. Volljährig
Diese Wochenende werde ich 18. Natürlich bedeutet es nichts viel im Praxis. Aber trotzdem habe ich das Gefühl dass irgendwas verändern würde. In der Seele.

2. Der Jung
Wir sind jetzt gute Freunde. :) Ich freue mich.

3. Uni

YOU'RE PATHETIC!

Mundanities. mundanities. mundanities.

Leben: eine Folge von den.

Bitte erzähl mir wann meine verrückte Kopf halten würden. Bitte erzähl mir was los ist. Bitte erzähl mir wie ich alles reparieren kann.

Ach, wie emo.

Ich weiß nicht ob ich noch schreiben soll, weil manche Leute haben meinen Blog total mit Google übersetzt. lol. Na ja. Schreibe ich auf Jedenfalls. Wenn man eine Sprache richtig lernt, weiß man dass man nie eine Internetübersetzungsmachine benützen darf.

Also, die erste Ding, die im Kopf kommt ist die Musikfest. Aber will ich unbedingt nichts darüber was wir getan haben erzählen. Es macht einfach zu viel Schmerzen. Ich fühle mich total scheußlich: wie EE (ich sollte keine Namen sagen). Aber wer weiß? Vielleicht geht es gar nicht so schlecht. Die Zukunft ist komisch.

Und ja... ich bin noch verliebt. lol. Es fühlt sich ganz interessant. Genieße ich das? Ja. Unbedingt. Macht mir es Sorgen? Ja. Auch unbedingt. Aber, jedenfalls will ich ihm lieben. Er ist... einfach... *zuckte die Schultern*. Ich habe mich nie so gefühlt.

Es ist wirklich (sollte ich ,in der Tat' benutzen?) ganz lang seit ich letztes Mal auf deustch geschrieben habe. Leider ist es vollig klar wie schlecht es geworden ist. =( Aber man sagt dass es besser ist wenn man irgendwas spät macht, als wenn man irgendwas nicht macht. Also übe ich wieder und hoffentlich wird es noch besser.

Na ja. Schule fangt ganz bald an... und habe ich so viel Angst. Ich habe nicht viel in den Ferien gearbeitet... (die Gründe erkläre ich bald). Zum Glück habe ich gut genug Noten gekriegt für Mathe dass ich Philosophie machen darf. Deshalb habe ich entschlossen Wirtschaft abzuwählen. Auf der anderen Seite, finde ich dass ich eigentlich ganz schlechte Noten für Mathe bekommt habe...

Ach, meine Schreibungen haben überhaupt kein Struktur. =( Das ist nicht gut... in besonders weil ich so viel Englisch jetzt mache...

Allerdings, verstehe ich die Gründe. Ich weiß nicht ob ich schon erzählt habe... aber bin ich nach Canberra für Mathecamp gegangen. Und darüber möchte ich jetzt schreiben: ich bin in jemanden verliebt. Absolut und total verliebt.

Ach... bin ich nicht konzentriert. Eigentlich soll ich Musik machen. Morgens machen Rosie, Jacs, Alix und ich Musifestdinge. Muss vorbereiten.

ps. je mehr ich versuche nichts über ihm zu denken, desto schwieriger wird es nicht zu denken!

Heute schreibe ich vielleicht das letztes Mal über Mathe.

Nein.. Eigentlich muss ich nächstes Jahr schreiben: ich habe noch die Sommerschule. (wie peinlich...:$)

Na ja. Heute kriegen wir unseren Noten. Nicht schlecht... aber auch nicht besonderes gut. Wenigstens habe ich jetzt Erfahrungen für den Prüfungen und ein Ziel für 2008.

Wenigstens habe ich irgendwas zu verbessen.

Die beste Stück ist, jedenfalls, dass ich würde in dem Leistungskurs akzeptiert. (<-- war das richtig? Ich verstehe nicht völlig das Passiv) Das bedeutet dass ich nächstes Jahr Philosophie lerne. Super, oder?!?! Ich bin so glücklich. Und muss ich jetzt sagen dass es sich lohnt Mathe ein Jahr früh zu lernen (nur für Philosophie).

Zum Schluss, möchte ch nur ,Frohe Weihnachten und gutes neues Jahr' sagen. =D

Wir sehen uns im 2008.

I didn't know that I had stopped breathing for awhile on Saturday night.

But as Australia greeted its new Prime Minister... Gosh, oxygen feels good. :-)

I knew I had stood for something.

Although in many ways, I don't agree with the Labor/Green policies: i support workchoices to an extent and we should also have some presence in Iraq (we made the mess; we should clean it up).

But taking Hugh Mackay's words: I am waking up from the slumber of indifference. I know that I care, and that I will continue to care, to engage, to inform myself and others around me.

I know that the economy is not what makes the world go round. I know that just because a policy is economically viable doesn't mean that it should stick around. I know that i live in a community, not a world where people are assessed according to their ability to contribute to production. I know that people have hearts and minds, rights, responsibilities, morals, consciences, standards.

To conclude with another of Hugh Mackay's quotes: 'The fear is not that a new government will change things. The fear is that it won't move quickly enough to catch the turning tide.'

Hier ist eine Geschichte, die ich geschrieben für englisch habe. Not that anyone's going to read it or anything... lol

Four increasingly dissonant chords began the first motif; the strong, rich and distinctively brassy tones formed pillars of sound in the dome of the concert hall. Eight bars later, a light tremolo started to emerge from the violins. One would have seen the dozen bows held above a dozen finely tuned strings. Furrows were etched upon the first violinist’s brows as she rubbed the fingerboard. Tension continued to escalate when the timpanist added a roll to the already dense layers of sound. Relishing the moment with her orchestra — the finely crafted, well oiled machine — the conductor raised her hands to cue the flute’s entry, when –

‘Mum!’

The whine plunged Justine back into reality. Her hand fell against her side as the music washed away with the frothy toothpaste, down into the black hole in the middle of the sink. A small boy with a light sneer on his face looked into her eyes and shoved her carelessly out of the way. Justine stole a last look at the oozing mixture of froth, saliva and water slowly making their way into oblivion, and left the bathroom.

It’s going to be another long day.

In fact, she has gone through the same — almost automatic — long day for the past five years now. It always started with the same morning procedure: get up, make breakfast, wake the boys up, take them to school. Justine inwardly sighed. Stuck with a husband she did not love and two boys who see her as their readily available target practice instead of their mother, life’s tedious routine has become a monotonous ostinato, threatening to consume the last strand of her own, faltering melody.

‘Better hurry up. Or you’ll both be late for school,’ she vaguely muttered to the painting in the doorway.

Some time later, just as one of them strapped himself into the car, the other turned on the radio to release a blast of strange techno beats. The synthesiser radiated an exaggerated bass line while a distorted voice added cacophonous lines of unnerving, meaningless lyrics. A badly played electric guitar added to the already awful, grating noise to form what is supposedly a song. The boys screamed along, joining the traffic outside to create an even louder chorus.

Justine bit her lips, and tried not to listen to the shrill crescendo of frustration at the back of her own head, threatening to take over. She imagined herself back in her mother’s music room instead…

It was a present for your birthday. Even though you already know how to play — your sister’s old half-size is enough to begin with — you’ve never owned a violin before. You run your fingers down its maple wood body: the smooth varnish coating a perfectly hourglass shaped bout. You realised that the strings are already tuned as your fingers can’t help but try to pizzicato. You then reached for the bow that sat perfectly in its wooden case. A few rubs of resin and it’s ready to go. You stare up into your father’s eyes as you put the laid it carefully onto the E string and drew it across. As the note reached your ears, it also reached the recesses of your soul.

As the years went by, monotonous ten bar studies were gradually replaced by ten pages of concertos and sonatas; the little girl turned into become a young woman… and the music? Well the music, like a virus, consumed you.

But your father didn't really like that.

“No way. There is no way that a daughter of mine would become a musician! How are you going to support yourself? Your mother and I can not feed and clothe you all your life. And think about it: how many artists eventually make it? All you have seen is the good side of it. Trust me. A choice made as a teenager won’t not last long.”

You wanted to argue back, to scream at them, tell them that you would be able to do it. But what did you know? They were probably right.

‘Your parents only want the best for you, my dear,’ the other people kept saying to her.

Beep. Beeeeep.

This time, it was a car horn that brought Justine back into the present. She looked out of the window. It was as if someone else took control of her hands and feet: the car was safely parked outside a large, plain sandstone building. If the outside was unremarkable, the inside of the building as even more so. Yellow lights barely illuminated an almost threadbare carpet. Apart from the small rooms on each side of the one corridor and a few scrawls of graffiti, there was nothing. But anything the place lacked, it made up for with the melodies pouring out of every orifice of its body. Justine walked by high trumpet fanfares, to sonorous saxophones, sweet flutes – but there was a particular tune, coming from just beyond the next turn. Was that Tchaikovsy’s Variations? Justine followed it until a large set of doors at the very end.

It was a concert hall. There was a multitude of stand, chairs and desk lights, pieces of music strewn across the floor in random piles. Rehearsal has probably finished: the lights were off and it was empty, except for an old man, standing in the middle. He continued to play…

Vitebsk, 1970

It was yet another snowing day in the small town just outside of St. Petersburg that Moishe lived. He was going home to help his grandmother prepare the Christmas decorations in time for the dinner tonight. Behind him was an old goat: something from his uncle. If he runs just a bit faster, he might make it home in time to grab a spoonful of the pudding before anyone notices…and sneak a peak under the tree.

Bad luck! The little cousins were already there, and the pudding already in the fridge. Even the tree was off limits to everyone except his father and uncles.

“Moishe! Don’t just stand there! Help set the table!” his mother called out.

It was only after another two hours that the family sat down next to the tree. It was another thirty minutes of carols and stories before they could open the presents. When his anticipation could no longer be contained, his father finally handed him a large box.

It was a violin. A light brown, wooden, curved body, fitted with four strings stretched over a fingerboard. He lifted it up to his shoulder…

He knew then that this was going to define his life.

That night, the conservatory put on a Tchaikovsky retrospective. Just like Justine remembered, the violin opened the first movement with the motif in its lowest register, followed by a repeat a fifth above. The flute joins in followed by the rest of the wind section, until the brass come in with four strange and jarring chords. The strings re-emerge with a tremolo. The piece stays paused until the conductor finally releases with a climactic rendition of the first motif by the entire orchestra before it resolves into the second movement.

As the music swirled around her that night, Justine could no longer hold back the rolling tide of deep, racking regret. Everything here called to her heart, telling her all that could have been. The conductor’s hand lifted again…

Moishe started his solo. He doesn’t think, only feels; playing with his heart to release the music in his soul.

Sometime later, the piece ended.

Tears rolled down Justine’s eyes as she saw what could have been.

Meanwhile, he turned around, receiving the thunderous applause.

1/30 Perfume; Patrick Sueskind
2/30 Catcher in the Rye; J. D. Salinger
3/30 The Picture of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde
4/30 Persuasion: Jane Austen
5/30 Frankenstein: Mary Shelley
6/30 Harry Potter 7: J K Rowling
7/30 Portrait of a Lady: Henry James
8/30 Dirt Music: Tim Winton
9/30 Brave New World: Aldous Huxley
10/30 The Big Over Easy: Jasper Fforde

Nur 10. :-(

1/30 Perfume; Patrick Sueskind
2/30 Catcher in the Rye; J. D. Salinger
3/30 The Picture of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde
4/30 Pursuasion: Jane Austen
5/30 Frankenstein: Mary Shelley
6/30 Harry Potter 7: J K Rowling
7/30 Portrait of a Lady: Henry James
8/30 Dirt Music: Tim Winton
9/30 Brave New World: Aldous Huxley

Und es gibt irgendwas anders auch... Aber erinnere ich es nicht! :( Or I've been hallucinating that I've read something.

Auf jedenfall, fange die zweite Stück meiner Kunstkurs am Montag an. Spannend, oder? Wir haben sogar eine Ausstellung am 13. Oktobre. Die hat sogar eine Name: Ultimate. Die Sieger der Doug Moran Prize kommt... Aber wichtigste ist das ich mehr lerne. Hoffentlich zum Schluss würde ich einen guten Portrait malen können.

In besonders wollte ich ein Portrait für Fr. Gavel malen. Zuerst mochte ich sie als ,fairy godmother' malen. Aber ich fand...irgendwie, das passt nicht. Vielleicht würde ich nur die originale Foto kopieren. Aber das wäre sehr langweilig. Ich muss auch ein Farbsystem finden. Nein Fabsystem ist nicht das richtiges Wort. Colour scheme. Entwurf? Na ja.

Es war Tag der deutsche Einheit am 3. Okt. Ich wundere mich wie Ellen und Jan gefeiret haben. Was macht man am 3. Okt auf jedenfalls? Es gibt wirklich keine ähnliches Feiertag in Australien. Vielleicht Australia Day. Aber das macht kein Spaß und hat nicht viel historische Bedeutungen.

Ach. Mein deutsch wird immer schlechter. Je weniger ich spreche, desto schlechter es würde. Aber gibt es wirklich keine gute Gelengenheiten deutsch zu benutzen....außer hier schreiben.

ich soll irgendwas darüber was passiert ist am letzten Tag in der Schule... (die zwölfte Klasse hat Schule fertig gemacht... und ich hatte meine letzte richtige Mathestunde) Aber meine Hände wollen irgendwie nichts über die Thema schreiben.

*sigh* Look forward, not back. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
Wein nicht weil irgednwas fertig ist... Lach weil es passiert ist. (my dodgy translation)

Tschußi.

1/30 Perfume; Patrick Sueskind
2/30 Catcher in the Rye; J. D. Salinger
3/30 The Picture of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde
4/30 Pursuasion: Jane Austen
5/30 Frankenstein: Mary Shelley
6/30 Harry Potter 7: J K Rowling
7/30 Portrait of a Lady: Henry James
8/30 Dirt Music: Tim Winton

I just realised that I never put my copy of the Margaret Olley painting up. Well, here they are:

The first ist the original. My copy is below.






What do you think?

Eigentlich wollte ich überhaupt nichts über Mathe hier schreiben. Aber... Ich weiß nicht. Vielleicht weil es so eine wichtige Stück meine Schulleben ist, kann ich es nie von Kopf löschen.

Also, übergestern hatte icht meine Prüfung für die 2. Leistungskurs, oder auf englisch Extension 2. Das war meine letzte Klausur für dem Kurs und es wäre zum Schluss 40% meine Noten.

Und habe ich große Fehlers gemacht.

Auf eine Seite kann ich jetzt ganz viele Entschuldigungen machen: aber wer möchte ich überzeugen? Ich selbe? Es ist (am meistens) einfach dass ich nicht genug gearbeitet habe. Zum Beispiel in der Ferien: die Blätter. Habe ich überhaupt geguckt, oder versucht zu üben? Nein! Total motivationslos. Einfach habe ich ignoriert.

Und schlechteste ist wie folgt: es gibt nur eine sehr sehr kleine Chance dass ich eine Distinction Kurs machen darf. Und liebe ich Philosophie!

Dann (Mein Tag würde immer schlechter) weiß ich dass ein anderes Mädchen gut gemacht hat. Ich bin nicht eifersüchtig über ihrer Noten. Sie hat gelernt, und congratuliere ich sie natürlich. Ich finde es so nervig nur weil dass vielleicht sie der Philosophie Kurs machen würde, und ich nicht, als ich viel mehr Interesse habe über Philosophie. Sie wusste eigentlich gar nichts über der Kurs bis ich erzählt habe. Sie diskutiert nie über philosophische Frage. Sie interessiert sich nie von diese Dinge bis jetzt. Ich finde dass sie das machen nur für die gute Noten will: Philosophy scales amazingly. Es war eine gleiche Situation für Kunst. Wie machten beide Kunst und 15 units. Nach vielleicht ein Term sagte sie dass sie ein Fach abwählen will. Endlich hat sie Kunst entschieden. Und ihre Grund? Weil es ganz viel Arbeit ist und dass es besser scaling gibt mit Latein. Sie wollte Latein auch nicht lernen! Aber Latein hat bessere scaling!

Manchmal finde ich dass es wie 'sour grapes' klingt.

If so, then so be it. Sour grapes sind ein Stück human nature.

Heute machte ich die Prüfung für 1. Leistungskurs. Das war viel besser. Nicht wunderbar, aber es geht noch.

Na ja. Unsere Abitur ist nur ein Stuuck unsere Leben. Wie haben viel mehr vor uns. Viel mehr Gelegenheiten.

Buddha hat gesagt: Es ist egal wie langsam man geht, nur dass man nie haltet. It doesn't matter how slow you go, just as long as you don't stop. At least I've learnt from ym mistakes... and there's still the real HSC to go.

1/30 Perfume; Patrick Sueskind
2/30 Catcher in the Rye; J. D. Salinger
3/30 The Picture of Dorian Gray: Oscar Wilde
4/30 Pursuasion: Jane Austen
5/30 Frankenstein: Mary Shelley
6/30 Harry Potter 7: J K Rowling
7/30 Portrait of a Lady: Henry James

23! *sigh*

Gestern machte ich das erstes Stück meinen NAS Kurs fertig. Ich konnte nicht gluaben wie schön das war! Am dem ersten Tag, fangten wir zuerst an mit die normale, langweilige Dinge. Ich heiße Rachel, ich bin... usw. Außer das - das eigentlich ganz lang gedauert - müssten wir eine Gemälde oder andere Kunstwerk finden, und die zu kopieren: ,transcriptions'. Ich liebe die!!! Wir machten die in der Schule sehr oft. Ich wählte eine Margaret Olley Gemälde: 'Portrait in the Mirror'.



Leider habe ich die ganzen Zeit das gemacht. Ich wollte eigentlich eine richtige Portrait malen, weil Portrait kann ich nicht so gut. Na ja. Das würde ich nächstes Mal unbedingt versuchen. Ich habe auch die Aufgabe schwerer gemacht. Es ist viel einfacher wenn man eine Gemälde großer machen in Vergleich zu wenn man die kleiner machen will. Ich benützte nur ein halb das Papier weil ich zwei malen wollte. Wenigstens weiß ich jetzt für nächstes Mal.

Die Kunstmateriale waren sehr schlecht, in vergleicht zu die Dinge in dre Schule. Wir hatten nur Chromacryl Schüle-Acryle. =C Die Malerpinseln sind auch die billigste und waren sehr furchtbar. Endlich habe ich meine Dinge mitgebracht: Malenpinseln und ein paar Farben. (Es gab kein Pthalo Blau oder Payne's Grau)

Obgleich diese waren nicht so wunderbar, die Erfanhrung war trotzdem fantastisch. Meine Lehrerin hat sich- Gott sei Dank - auf der technische Seite interessiert.

Die beste Stück der Tage war unbedingt die Leute. Nie habe ich so viele gleichgesinnte und begabte Kunstschülere getroffen. Wir haben so viel miteinander gelernt. I opened my eyes to another so many other styles of painting and realised how average I really am. It was humbling.

In besonders erinnert es mich ein Konversation, das ich mit Jade, Tamara und Laura gehabt habe. It is truly such a privilege to be a ble to know so many people and see these fantastic acheivements, which we would never had the opportunity to witness any other way.

Leider am der letzte Tag, als wir unsere Ausstellung haben, dürfen nur ein paar Gemälde in der Cell Block Theater Halle stellen. Das bedeutet dann das nur fünf oder sechs sind da, und die andere müssen irgendwo anders stehen. Aber, wie Rachel gasagt hat, es ist eine Erfahrung. Wir sind schon die gewählt; it is already amazing that we are even here. Concentrate on learning something rather than being good.

Und möchte ich das genau machen: Portraits!!! Ich hoffe das ich die beste Portraitmalerin gleich werde!

PS Und hier ist eine der Rachels Gemälde:



Hier sind mehr: http://www.rayhughesgallery.com/artistDisplay.asp?artistId=125

I did some quiz/self test just then. This is kinda interesting...

You scored 2.5 on the Moral Order axis and 1 on the Moral Rules axis.

Matches
The following items best match your score:
System: Authoritarianism
Variation: Moderate Authoritarianism
Ideologies: Social Republicanism
US Parties: No match.
Presidents: Gerald Ford (79.15%)
2004 Election Candidates: John Kerry (72.31%), George W. Bush (71.27%), Ralph Nader (62.43%)

Statistics
Of the 334610 people who took the test:
0.2% had the same score as you.
30.8% were above you on the chart.
62.3% were below you on the chart.
14.6% were to your right on the chart.
77% were to your left on the chart.

I'm going to quite the deutsch for a little bit due to:
1. My german isn't sophisticated enough to convey the following
2. i should be working on some english entension...which, by the way, is due tomorrow.

Oh...before I start, i did absolutely sh*z* on that short story for eng ext... Furchtbar, i tell you, Furchtbar!!!

Rant no 1: Prefects
I don't want to some like some self righteous bit**. But the whole damn process doesn't -- as one would expect -- yield people who are truly sited to their supposed future roles. And through the proces, I've seen sides of some people which I did not expect to ever see. It is really quite... confonting. (AH!!! Looking for a better word) Truly disappointed on how some people have managed to get themselves nominated.

Rant no. 2: Maths (When is it not about maths?)
This whole acceleration thing is so getting out of hand. Marks havn't been amazing. Today, we did an assessment again. I freaked out about feeling good about it even though...well, i do feel pretty good about it. everytime i do feel like I did alright... the stuff come back absolutely down the toilet... Except i know that if this one turns out badly...i would have no chance of ending up in the top band. And that's ... there are no words to describe my disppointment if that happens.

Rant no. 3: Choices
Only 5 whole years on am I able to truly contemplate the ramifications of my choices. Although I've been wondering, and thinking, and pondering over all of the possibilities, it's only hit me in the last few months that, well, actually, I will never know. I will never know what would have happened if I

- stayed in Germany for longer
- stayed in China for longer
- went to NSG instead of Kambala...or even Pymble (and boarded), or even MLC
- didn't accelerate Maths
- didn't close myself up entirely in yr 7 due to a childish and naive ideology
- did the IB instead of the HSC

I chose my path at the fork in the road. Quite simply, there's no way back. Life is made up of our choices. Choices define who we are. Whether we make good or bad ones will add up.

Oh, what revelations...

Rant no. 4: NAS
2 words: SOOOOO EXCITED

Ok..and that's it.

Got into NAS VA extension course!!!

So excited! Whole 4 days to do nothing but paint, and paint, and paint, and... paint! That is just pure bliss. *Sigh But have no idea if my works are actually that good compared to some of those realluy artistic people. I nmean, there are people like Millie, who have no clue about art theory and then turn out with the most brilliant creative projects... But excited nevertheless.

On a not so happy point, exams didn't come out brilliantly at all. But I suppose the 15 units is quite a heavy load to carry with you. Trying to get over it for the time being while trying to improve dramatically on maths. Seriously, that last hing was worth 30%! And I f*cked it up. Suppose it's not the end of the world. And Ms. Gavel said that 90% of 4u student actually use it in their usi calculation. Which means chances are its going to be scaled to what I'd get for my best subjects.

On a different note again, I'm thinking of dropping geography just so that I don't have to do my SGP. have not started yet and it's due it about 2 months. 'Worried' is flashing in my head. And maths. of course. It's pretty hard. And i'm just not convincced about the standard of maths at my school in general. Does coming 3rd mean getting below average in the state or quite well? Besides, I'm surely up against some of the geniuses at Ruse or some other azn maths nerd.

Oh, and Ms. Mitchell was quite annoyed with the art class arrangements. But hopefully the NAS course would help heaps. People have said itwas really helpful and they learnt so much. On top of that, they got to meet really interesting people with similar artistic interests. I can not wait.

All of the above kind of means that I shouldn't even be on LJ. lol.

And what should I do for the major work this time? It's wrth 30% again... Revelations and Transformation... Trying my absolute best to steer away from any teen angst tho. And I'm obsessed w/ culture. Every single work that I've done has either been on my cultures, or is an appropriation. The imaginaton is suffering serious drought here!

Na ja. Ich soll auch meine deutsch emails schreiben. Deutsch...ist noch ok. Nicht so schlechte Noten und so weiter.

Just like so many people keep telling me, just move on. Deal with each day as it comes and do the best you can. Just know that when you get to the end of it all, you can say to yourself, I've done all that i could have done.